Things Unexpected
by JenLea
Summary: When Lilian sends Randy shopping, he gets the shock of a lifetime. RandyLilian


Things Unexpected

Disclaimer: I own no one!

A/N- While at the market, I noticed a man buying a pregnancy test, hiding it the whole time. My muse struck and well, you can figure it out…

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It didn't hit me until I got to the store.

"Dark chocolate, sweet pickles, and what was it?" I struggled to remember my wife's short shopping list, not wanting to call her. "PREGNANCY TEST!"

Wait-Why did Lilian need a pregnancy test? She wasn't-was she?

We had been married two years, long enough to have a grasp on life together. Of course, I would have known if she thought she was pregnant.

I, Randy Orton, am no idiot.

"Took you long enough,"

Lilian's first words as I answered the phone…

"Excuse me?"

"Took you long enough to figure out you were buying a pregnancy test,"

"Ha-ha, are you?"

"Pregnant? Don't know."

"Do you think you are?"

"Well, my dear friend who visits so regularly is suddenly late for the first time I can remember in recent history,"

"What the hell does that mean?"

"My period's late,"

"Oh,"

"Yeah,"

"I thought you were on the pill,"

"I am or was. Apparently, it's not fool proof. Besides, you wanted children!"

"I do, especially with you,"

"Bye, Love,"

"Bye,"

Well that showed how observant I was. Lilian thought she was pregnant, and I was blind, not noticing a thing.

Some husband I am

The thought of a Baby Orton made me go weak at the knees. I'm probably somewhat biased, but my wife has the prettiest eyes I've ever seen on a woman. I can just imagine her eyes on our little boy or girl.

"Digital…No,"

How do women do this? There had to have been at least ten brands of pregnancy test. Were you supposed to go cheap? Were you supposed to go expensive?

"You look lost," commented an older woman. Turning around, I nodded. She chuckled softly. "Go with EPT, or First Response,"

I bought what the woman told me to buy. I didn't think Lilian needed six pregnancy tests, but I wasn't a woman and I had never taken a pregnancy test before. Maybe you needed six tests to be sure.

_Daddy_

The word rang through my head. I had never thought of myself as especially fatherly. Then again, Lilian had never thought she was pregnant before.

"How much did you spend?"

"150,"

"ON WHAT?"

"What you told me to get,"

Uh oh. Now that I had time to think, I realized she probably didn't need six pregnancy tests.

Oh well, too late now

Pulling up to the house, Lilian met me outside. Did she seem pudgier than before I left for the market? Did I want her to be pregnant so badly that she looked pregnant?

"What did you buy that was on my list that cost 150?" she asked, peeking in the bags. "SIX pregnancy tests?"

"How many do you need?" I asked.

The look on her face was priceless. It said, "I married an idiot" I decided suddenly to always consult Lilian in the matter of all things womanly. I couldn't afford to make mistakes and look like an idiot.

I just wanted to know if she was pregnant, if our entire lives were set to change.

"Why are you outside?" I asked, knowing she never met me outside. She sighed.

"Our asshole neighbor is barbecuing Halibut and suddenly, it's making me nauseous," she murmured.

Entering the house, I was shocked to find it was freezing. Had she put the air conditioning on Full Blast?

"Wow, I can stay in here without puking." She commented, not noticing I was shivering. "Let me see one of your tests," Struggling not to shiver, I handed her a box.

Immediately, I made myself a cup of herbal tea. Normally, I couldn't stand the stuff since it tasted like Sawdust. Then again, Lilian didn't normally freeze me out.

She wandered in, holding a stick. Was that the test? That couldn't be it, could it?

"Lay off my sawdust," she murmured. I rolled my eyes. "We've got thirty seconds," She placed the test in front of me. I paused, afraid to look at her. "Why are you drinking that stuff?" I shrugged.

"You're freezing me out,"

Glancing around our kitchen, I realized there was no way we could bring a child into this house. Suddenly, the banana rack seemed dangerous. Our baby could poke its eye out!

"Look," she said, nodding toward the stick. I nodded, my eyes falling forward. Our lives were about to change. No matter what this stick thingy said, our lives would never be the same.

I gazed toward the stick. A single word caught my eye.

_Pregnant…_

She was pregnant.

"Lily, we're having a baby…"

The words got lost in my throat. I didn't want to believe it. A baby…

"We are?" she asked. I nodded. "I knew it"

Of course, she would know it, but I didn't say anything. "Randy JR for a boy and Miranda for a girl," I murmured. She moved toward me before smacking me in the head.

"You, Dear Heart, are conceited,"

Conceited? I am not conceited. I hardly know the meaning of the word…

As we sat there, silence overtook us. Reality was sinking in. A baby was coming into our lives, and nothing was going to change that now. A baby…

"We're ready for this," Lilian said, taking my hand. I nodded, hoping she was right.

A baby was a big step, I could admit.

Yet, it was also the best unexpected surprise I had ever gotten.

THE END


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